Seeking Gratitude has been a major key to spiritual renewal. Resenting others (including myself) has sabotaged all types of human relations because of this. Not surrendering the ego and the shame state can render paralysis, and thus making one unavailable for growth. "The degree to which we discount ourselves is the degree to which we can damage others" *. The way out is through, and a way out of this particular state is to become other-oriented by "paying it forward" as my niece has reminded me through her abundant generosity.
It's baby steps for now, but this simple (and no one said easy) strategy is beginning to allow emotional growth once again.
* Roberta Meyer- "Listen to the Heart" ©1989 Warner Books ISBN 0-446-51432-2 Creating intimate families through the power of unconditional love.
Creative Communication Experiences (CCE)
Staff with the birthday boy, March 1979
Some of the same happy group in later years